My middle son has always been obsessed with his appearance with a primary focus on his clothing. I could go into great detail about the psycho-social reasons behind this obsession, but they are really not relevant to the story. This child changes clothing up to 3x per day, and tends to favor a select few items in his wardrobe. For the most part I have tolerated his habits and have become skilled at hiding certain pieces of clothing so I don’t have to look at them again. Up until now my target has been baggy jeans that gravity works against. That has recently changed.
My son has discovered the skinny jean popular among today’s youth. Whereas the baggy jeans were capable of reaching the waist, but unable to stay there, the skinny jeans sits 1/2 way down my child’s buttocks. He compensates for the ill fitting pants by wearing long t-shirts. A successful strategy until he bends over. Why, Why, Why? They cannot possibly be comfortable. What must it be like to have to spend the entire day making sure that other people don’t see your underwear.
My son was disciplined at school for accusing a female teacher of looking at his butt. How could she not look at his butt when it is hanging out in plain view? Tomorrow will be his first day of volunteering at the memory care where I work. I really don’t want to spend time each morning arguing over what he is wearing, however, there will need to be some limits set. In order to prevent my son’s eventual wardrobe malfunction I think my washing machine may have to have a malfunction of it’s own, causing my son’s skinny jeans to be ripped to shreds. What a terrible tragedy it will be.