what now?

Three years ago I started graduate school.  Graduation seemed very far off at that time, and there were days when I doubted my ability to meet all of the requirements.  I was awarded my master of social work last weekend at St. Catherine University.  Now the question of what to do with the rest of my life lingers.

I like my current job, but experience a great deal of frustration related to care issues that I cannot control.  The job does not make use of the clinical knowledge and skills that I acquired during the past 3 years. Despite this fact, I am very well compensated both hourly and in the form of commissions.  Should I stay or should I go, is the question that has plagued me over the past few weeks. 

I am a strong believer that God places opportunities in our path at just the right time. That  being said, I have decided that I will apply for jobs that interest me while remaining thankful for the attributes of my current job that work well for my life right now. If I am meant to move on, the right offer will come along.

On another topic, with no homework lingering, I have turned my attention to my yard. I was at Highland Nursery the other evening and I happened to glance up from the counter. Above me were hanging the most breathtaking bird feeders that I had ever seen.  I asked the cashier to check the price, strongly believing that they would be upwards of $50.  Well to my great surprise the one that most captivated me was under $30. So this cheapskate decided to purchase it, because the mere sight of it gave me so much joy.  It is currently hanging from a shepard’s hook in my garden.  Enjoy!

 

Did I mention that it is a frog!

crossing things off of my list

–600 hour clinical internship, done!

–LGSW test, taken and passed, done!

–Clinical research paper written and submitted, done!

Conclusion to my final graduate school paper, DONE!

Clinical research presentation, pending

I can taste the finish line.

one worry behind me

The boys got into the high school of their choice. Applying was a gamble due to a recent change in established geographical boundaries governing attendance at each school. The only downside is that transportation is not provided for them, because we are outside the boundary.  The upside is that their older brother has a driver’s license and a car so next year will not be an issue. 

Beginning their second year, it is likely that I will be available to drive them to school, however, they will need to rely on the city bus to get home.  I’m not going to sweat it for now.  Go Scotts!!

grace

This quote spoke to me today. It was taken from the blog of Emily Freeman:  Chatting at the Sky, A Place For Your Soul to Breathe.

“Peace is My continual gift to you … I have designed you to need Me moment by moment. As your awareness of your neediness increases, so does your realization of my abundant sufficiency. I can meet every one of your needs without draining My resources at all.”

Sarah Young, Jesus Calling

extreme home makeover? nope just a facelift

Today began the first phase of our kitchen face lift.  It is a facelift versus a remodel because we are not making any structural changes.  My kitchen has a lot of positive aspect.  Number 1 on the list would be its size. I have ample counter space for food prep and plenty of cupboards.  There is a large eat in area as well as a built in desk with cabinets above.

The downside is that the previous owners had not changed anything since the 70′s. A light gold was the color of the counters and the large garish cupboard pulls were smack dab in the middle of each door.

In an effort to make the facelift as economical as possible we went with laminate counters.  Today’s laminate comes in multiple colors and patterns. The pattern we chose could be mistaken for granite until you get up close. Tom installed the new counter tops today along with a beautiful cast iron sink in bisque. The homework counters will be recovered versus replaced. We have a sheet of matching laminate in the garage waiting for my brother-in-law to tackle the job.

We ordered new cabinet doors. We had a stain specially mixed to match.  Not wanting to replace the doors in the homework area, I went with a shape that will compliment the current doors.

Lastly we purchased new hardware.  The doors will not come in until the end of April. I am hoping to have the kitchen done by the time of my graduation.

Some pics below. Unfortunately, I didn’t snap a picture of the ugly counters before Tom ripped them out.

The new sink

the rigors of high school

I have a very unhappy 16 yr old. He is struggling with honors English and feeling pretty hopeless right now. The class is reading a book by William Faulkner.  My son says that he does not understand the language and cannot comprehend the themes etc that he needs to be able to write about for the critical analysis that are required for the class. He has  a presentation hanging over head for which he is completely ill prepared.

Despite the encouragement and suggestions that Tom and I have made, he continues to feel defeated and wants to skip the presentation and take a zero.  I feel for him. There is nothing worse than watching your peers excel at something when you already feel grossly inadequate.

He is stressed from work as well. The past two evening shifts have been much busier than he has been accustomed to. Also, some of the customers haven’t been so nice which has added to his frustration. At the same time, his “band” has decided to audition for the school talent show and my son said that he would make sure the drum set got to school.

I am feeling burdened for him and wish that I could take away his pain and frustration. I have a hard time not feeling as though I have set him up for failure. As parents we have not been very good about keeping strict rules about homework time and electronics. We have let the kids get away with underachieving.

At the same time, I believe that the work that is expected of children today is a bit out of control.  My coworker told me today that her fifth grade daughter had the work “indignant” included in her vocabulary assignment. I’m indignant that grade school children would be expected to have a vocabulary that some college kids lack.

God, what to do with kids and homework. As I sit here Patrick is watching tv. He had to look up one more source tonight for his history day project. Meanwhile my nephew who is also an 8th grader was being asked to find 100 facts for his history day paper which should be close to 8 pages. Eight pages for an 8th grader.  Unreal.

What are parents to do?

half empty boy

not feelin it

This is a picture of E after having just been presented with his new bike. E has been obsessed with BMX biking for over one year.  He began looking for a BMX bike last winter on the internet.  E has champagne taste on his parent’s beer budget and thus was looking at bikes that cost in excess of $250.  In the spring Tom bought him a bike on Craig’s list. E promptly destroyed the bike in an effort to make it into something that it was not.

E loves to rebuild things so I enrolled him in a bike making class this summer. He spent 15 hours at The Bike Depot in St. Paul  learning how to build and repair bikes. Before the class even began, E decided that he would not like the class because the bikes wouldn’t be the “right kind.”Needless to say, E left the bike making class without a bike. He deliberately chose to help another kid with his bike rather than make a “lame one.”

E was not moved by my argument that a “lame” bike could get him from point A to point B just as easily as a “cool” bike. Fast forward to Christmas. Tom had done his research by looking at the bikes that E had bookmarked on the computer and talking to E’s BMX pals. Tom bought a $300 like new bike on Craig’s list for $100.  It is in fact the same bike that E wanted to buy from his friend a few months back.  So how do you think E reacted? Drum roll please…. It’s no good. E sent his dad a Facebook message earlier today stating that since he cannot do a 180 on the bike, it is the wrong kind.  He has resumed looking for an alternative bike.

E is unwilling to entertain the idea that there isn’t a bike out there that is going to give him the BMX talent that he pitifully lacks.  His fantasy, which he had spent months nurturing, of becoming a professional BMX bike rider complete with sponsors was shattered by the red bike standing in our living room.

Reality and its limitations is hitting E hard.  It is difficult for me to be supportive when he takes what we give him and throws it back in our faces. I know intellectually that E is trying to fill a hole that can never be filled. The hole was caused by a mother who drank while she was pregnant and the complex trauma that he endured during the first 6 years of his young life.  That having been said it still sucks and wears me down knowing that nothing that we do on his behalf will ever be perceived by E as good enough.